A Bad Day Golfing Beats…Just About Anything

Wednesday was golf day for Tyler, Dad, and me. Since Tara and Mom were going to baby-sit while we played, they spent the morning shopping while we watched Carson. Before leaving, they asked what time we’d be leaving to head to the golf course. We probably should have told them about 30 minutes earlier than the time we planned to leave.

We planned on leaving by three forty-five. At three o’clock, we hadn’t heard anything from Mom or Tara, and Tara wasn’t answering texts from Tyler. At three-fifteen, I called Tara. They were still shopping, and apparently they had forgotten what time we were leaving. They finally walked in the door at three-thirty, and proceeded to pull all their purchases from the bags so they could show us all the deals they’d gotten. Tara was especially proud of the Tums travel packs she’d bought for Dad. We finally managed to get out the door by three forty-five. As we drove through the golf club, I realized I was going to be way out of my league on this course. I regretted choosing this course for my first game since before I’d gotten pregnant. Oh well, we had enough time before our tee time to send a few downrange. But, when I took that first swing with my driver and whiffed the air, I knew it would be a long game. I felt like Kevin Costner in Tin Cup when he gets a bad case of the ‘shanks.’ I decided to leave the good Nike balls in my bag, and reached instead for the free National Guard golf balls I kept for this situation…

I have a pretty wicked slice, so as I teed up on the first hole, I angled way left to compensate. I took a deep breath, set my driver in motion, and…kissed my first ball goodbye. It went perfectly straight into the woods. Awesome. At least my short game wasn’t too awful. Once I’d completed the first hole, though, the nervous jitters wore off a little, and I started to get my rhythm back. The first nine holes went relatively well, but I was starting to get pretty hungry–it was well past dinnertime. As we pulled up to the tenth hole, I saw the sweetest sight: a tray of apples! It was just what I needed to tide me over. We ended up playing the back nine holes better than we played the first, and I was happy I had come. In fact, I managed to only lose 4 balls! Not bad considering the vast amounts of water and wooded areas. We even finished the course 25 minutes ahead of the pre-determined schedule announced by the built-in GPS on the golf carts (yeah, it was a really nice course).  By the time we came off the course, it was nearly seven pm, though. We were starving, and we figured we’d be in pretty deep doo-doo with Mom and Tara. I had nightmares about Carson screaming his head off, and as a matter of fact, I was needing to pump pretty badly. We loaded up with Wendy’s, and prepared to face the music as we walked in the door. Much to our surprise, Tara and Mom weren’t angry, and Carson was sound asleep. Whoa. The theme to the Twilight Zone was playing in my head… Filled with fatty fast food and soda, we showered and went straight to bed.


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