Dogs and Babies

This post is out of sequence, but I wanted to write about it while the horrors of last night were still fresh.

Carson went to bed so well last night around nine o’clock, probably because we held him all through the Hail and Farewell (it’s an Army thing–I’ll explain later) and then he had a fifteen minute car ride on the way home. It’s no wonder he passed right out after nursing.

At midnight, he was ready for his next feeding session, and since I had only gotten to sleep a couple of hours ago, I must have been pretty out of it. I also didn’t have my glasses nearby, so when I wandered into the nursery, I was practically blind as a bat. I didn’t pay attention to the fact that the door that I had pulled closed was wide open. I should have. Carson was screaming his head off, ready to nurse, and that had my attention. I wasn’t looking at the floor, so when something cold, soft, and wet met the bottom of my foot as it touched the floor on that first step in, it didn’t register at first. And then, all of a sudden, in the second that it took for my foot to recoil off the floor before it hit the ground again, I was wide awake. I looked to the floor, and even without my glasses, I could make out enough shape to recognize the familiar pile of semi-formed dog stools. The next few seconds were like a car accident–everything seemed to move in slow motion. While simultaneously reaching for baby wipes and moving to the ottoman without touching my foot to the ground again, I began yelling for Ryan. And, since it takes a natural disaster sweeping through the bedroom to wake Ryan from sleep, I yelled loudly. So, at midnight, when all should be quiet, Carson and I both were yelling our fool heads off. Even as all of this was going on, my mind was working. I remembered that Dora had come home with a beef vertebrae (who has those, and why would they give my dog one?) and had devoured the whole thing. Not to mention, she had been really antsy right at bedtime (which I had mistaken for just being hyper as usual). Why she picked the nursery to relieve her bowels, I have no idea. Back to the chaos at hand. I used the last baby wipe from the dispenser to clean the poop stuck to the bottom of my foot, and so I had to find one of the bulk bags I had stored at the back of the crib to finish cleaning my foot. Meanwhile, Ryan’s confused because he’s still asleep, and Carson’s still screaming. As I’m grabbing more wipes, I explain the situation to Ryan (who promptly goes to pee–it couldn’t wait?!) and try to console Carson with my soothing (ha ha) voice. No dice. He’s hungry and has a wet diaper, and he wants it all taken care of five minutes ago. But he has to wait, because I still have to wash my hands. I somehow manage to avoid the poop that’s still in the floor so I can get to the kitchen to wash my hands. Finally, I’m ready to take care of Carson, who has reached a new level of desperation and is now shrieking (Mommy, why are you in here talking to me but not picking me up??). Why I didn’t notice the smell before, I’m not sure–maybe adrenaline kicked in and shielded me from it so I could concentrate. But, suddenly, the smell was overpowering and nauseating. Ryan was still wandering around half asleep. Turns out he was going for paper towels in the garage (I told him that was not a convenient place to store those). Meanwhile, I snatched Carson out of the crib and headed to the living room to nurse him. The diaper could wait. As soon as Ryan finished ‘cleaning’ the mess, he headed back to bed. When Carson finished nursing a few minutes later, I took him back to his nursery to change the diaper only to be slapped in the face with the smell once more. I grabbed a diaper and a wipe and took him back to our bedroom. I changed the diaper as quickly as I could and left him with Ryan (now mostly asleep) so I could tackle what Ryan failed to accomplish. The smell. Luckily, I had stocked up on the necessary products just recently, so it was only a minute before Carson’s nursery smelled tropical fresh (thank you, odor neutralizing spray). I retrieved Carson from a now fully asleep Ryan, returned him to his crib, and went back to sleep. On to a new day…


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